no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
