Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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