Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
