I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
