just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
