I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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