Welp...herpes.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
