addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
