His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
