hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
