It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
only you would photoshop your dick
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
