So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
