Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
