Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
