last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
