Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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