Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
