I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
