My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
