So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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