It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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