cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
