i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
