people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
