Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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