Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
