your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
