So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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