we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
