I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
