Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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