Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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