SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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