She's JV to your varsity
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize