dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
