no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
