remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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