So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
