So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
