At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
