do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
