did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
