Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
