it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Randomize
