forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
