the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i now understand why vodka
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
