using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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