if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
