Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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