Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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