What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
