ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's just like the Real World with babies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
