i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
we're so committed to being not committed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
