I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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